Ian's page!

Top ten things you can do at an Inter-Centre when you're losing the game badly!

1. Blame the gun.

2. REALLY blame the gun. Push barricades over, punch players and marshalls, and at the subsequent judiciary, blame any member of the Governing Body.

3. Pretend you're injured.

4. Run over to a marshal and claim that somebody shot you.

5. Join the other team (or just pretend).

6. Huddle in the energiser and hope they go away (Specialists' tactic against Therapists, Wollongong Inter-Centre).

7. Whip out a mirror to reflect shots (Hey, it might work!).

8. See if you can break the record for gun changes (34-Scott McCulloch, Psychosis).

9. Call the marshal over and claim that the opposition are violating article 4.11 and should be sent out for five minutes each (Again, it might work!).

10. Wait until the game's almost over and approach a marshal, get your gun plugged and hold in the front trigger. You will now have fifty lives and an extra fifteen minutes game time. While both teams are filing out of the maze, bash the opposition's base. Continue until you are forcibly removed.