RSS feedI recently moved house, and while in the old days my dial up Internet connection would simply move with me and be operational the same day, moving ADSL took Telstra 12 days. Same number, same exchange, my ISP and Telstra had two weeks warning, but still 12 days off the air, not including the time between disassembling my network and the actual line move. Then when it does finally get connected, nobody bothers to call and let me know, neither Telstra nor my ISP. I’m left to discover it myself when I accidentally restart my gateway (mental note to self: gotta move that power board out of harms way).
Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, less complex, more fun and in many cases cheaper. Telstra, my ISP and the nature of ADSL provided none of these. Sure, once the connection is back up it sure beats dial up, but why should I go through the pain and suffering to get there?
Good technology just works. I shouldn’t need a shell prompt, a complex install procedure or a non-typical user interface. And I shouldn’t have to wait 12 days just to move it to another location.
(Originally posted to Synop weblog)
A bunch of stuff I found sitting in my inbox. The electronic version of the U.S. constitution for sale on Amazon, locked up in all it’s DRM glory (via Lessig); classic pr0n video names (via Boing Boing); Kuro5hin’s coverage of Paris council attempting to ban SUVs from the city; Rock Paper Saddam; and for those reading my RSS feed, I do support comments, so just click on the permalink and you’ll be able to tell me off in public. Why should IA members have all the fun?
It is actually amazing how much time it frees up by not having access to the Internet. It gives you oh so many more hours to pace up and down the loungeroom plotting the overthrow of Telstra.
In celebration of the fact that we’re about to head into day 11 without an Internet connection, the fact that we’re rapidly approaching the “up to 12 days, but usually much less” that I was told it would take to transfer, and in a feeble attempt to generate good luck even though it is well and truly outside the bounds of my belief structure, I give to you, The Twelve Days of Telstra.
28/6 – On the first day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
29/6 – On the second day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
30/6 – On the third day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, three bad connections, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
1/7 – On the fourth day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, four strands of copper, three bad connections, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
2/7 – On the fifth day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, the — fucking shits. Four strands of copper, three bad connections, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
3/7 – On the sixth day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, six Telstra techos, and the — fucking shits. Four strands of copper, three bad connections, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
4/7 – On the seventh day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, seven dumb excuses, six Telstra techos, and the — fucking shits. Four strands of copper, three bad connections, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
5/7 – On the eighth day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, eight certified handsets, seven dumb excuses, six Telstra techos, and the — fucking shits. Four strands of copper, three bad connections, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
6/7 – On the ninth day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, a motive for my sabotage, eight certified handsets, seven dumb excuses, six Telstra techos, and the — fucking shits. Four strands of copper, three bad connections, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
7/7 – On the tenth day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, ten reasons to get Optus, a motive for my sabotage, eight certified handsets, seven dumb excuses, six Telstra techos, and the — fucking shits. Four strands of copper, three bad connections, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
8/7 – On the eleventh day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, eleven minutes of dial up, ten reasons to get Optus, a motive for my sabotage, eight certified handsets, seven dumb excuses, six Telstra techos, and the — fucking shits. Four strands of copper, three bad connections, two empty sockets, and a whopping transfer of ADSL fee.
9/7 – On the twelth day without Internet, Telstra gave to me, A, D, S L.
When does a quote become a phrase of common usage and free from attribution? Rather naively, several weeks ago I quoted a SMH writer with a classic line about Alexander Downer, without realising that he’d himself quoted the line from where else but the 5th February 2003 Hansard, and I’m assuming probably all the popularist media as well. That must have been one of the those weeks when I was stuck in a hotel room in Canberra hacking code or something, isolated from what was happening in the world. The embarrassing thing though is that my post is now the top Google result for conga line of suck holes, so the whole world can now revel in my complete inability to do research. Lesson learnt. The quote itself of course being originally from Latham:
Mr Howard and his government are just yes-men to the United States. There they are, a conga line of suckholes on the conservative side of Australian politics. The backbench sucks up to the Prime Minister, and the Prime Minister sucks up to George W. […] In my book they are not Australian at all. They are just the little toriesthe little tory suckholes.
Amen brother, amen!
So we moved house, fairly successfully, and with all the crap that I cart around from place to place because I’m too sentimental to dump it all.
We’re keeping the same telephone number, but of course Telstra need to install an ADSL modem at the exchange on the new line, which according to my ISP will take up to two weeks. On top of that, it can’t be ordered through Telstra’s database until the telephone is actually switched over. So here we are, knowing we’ll be off the (Internet) air for up to two weeks, knowing which day the move will be, knowing which day Telstra will physically change the phone line over, yet not being able to warn Telstra until the new line is in place!
The irony of course is that if I was instead using that 20th century technology, a dial up modem, there would be no delay and we’d have Internet access the same day. Isn’t new technology supposed to make things easier, more flexible or cheaper? Well, ordering the change is more complex, waiting up to two weeks is not flexible, and of course we get charged by both my ISP and Telstra for the privilege.
On the day we had the telephone switched over, I had to report that the phone wasn’t actually working. So out comes the Telstra guy, late the following day of course, and finds that the Optus technician who installed the previous resident’s lines, dumped the Telstra copper under the house, before rewiring all the internal phone extensions to ride over Optus’ network instead. And of course the ADSL can’t be switched over until the line is working…
Anyway, six days without Internet access, and four days of sickening flu later, and I finally get our network set up at the new house and manage to dial in to my ISP via 56K. It aint broadband, and several machines all sharing the line isn’t very speedy, but at least I was able to download my 600 odd emails. One of which was about an expired domain name, which nobody thought to phone me about.
Telstra. Anyone who tells you that public ownership has improved Telstra, is simply full of it. Ziggy Distrust has spent the last 10 years investing in failed Internet start ups and ignoring Telstra’s core business and customer base. But of course he has, that’s what shareholders want, which sort of conflicts with their raison detre. They’re a telco for fuck’s sake, that’s what they should be concentrating on.
Public ownership of all government utilities is dumb for this very reason, even if there is a core mission statement locked up tighter than a nat’s chuff. Some utilities will be less profitable by nature of their business, which directly conflicts with the capitalist nature of stockholding. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s not right, just that they’re incompatible models.
So why am I still a customer? Good question. I’m off to ponder that one myself… making good use of the two weeks I have without an Internet connection…
A couple of quick posts before I get packed into a truck and moved to another location. The 1976 Langley Schools Music Project (see the quote from Bowie); bugmenot.com, 8120 registration required web site logins and the SMH is included; and finally, this great quote from Anne Galloway:
I’ll never forget the day I learned that I had been looking at the light of dead stars. How could the universe promise so much beauty and then betray me so?!
Anne’s refering to this BBC article titled ‘Birth cry’ of the cosmos heard. If Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation is shifted into the audio spectrum, it apparently sounds like a minor chord. No wonder so much of the world’s population is depressed. (about minor keys/chords)
At least some media companies are trying to rethink the business model. Well not really. This post from Poynter Online about Owning the Desktop … or RSS Reader demonstrates The Times of India is thinking about the issues of losing their advertising revenue. Their answer? A custom client. Come on guys, take the next step, think outside the advertising box!
(Originally posted to Synop weblog)
Telstra has a new service voice, giving Australian English the once over.
All our operators are busy, and your call has been placed in a queue, please stand by until you are answered.
Makes me feel like I’m in a cold dark cavern, crying out for help.
Only in Australia does spelling take a new turn for the worse.
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